"After you", "no no, after you".....

A small selection of pub annoyances as composed last night in the (go on, have a guess) ........ pub.

1. Inattentive bar staff – Its not that difficult when its relatively quiet to notice who came to the bar in what order. Please just serve people in the order they arrived.

2. Ungrateful fellow consumers – Following on from point 1, if the bar staff are useless I will often point out that the individual beside me was at the bar before me and therefore deserves to get served first. All I ask is a little acknowledgement from said individual. I’m not looking for a grand gesture just a nod or a mumbled thank you will suffice

3. Carrying on from both point 1 and 2, having pointed out the error of the bar persons ways by suggesting the person beside me should be served next does not mean I go back to the bottom of the cue. Please come back and serve me next.

On reflection, I have a solution to all of the above. Get one of the ticket machines like they have at supermarket deli counters (and yes, having never been to a super market myself, this is based on what other people have told me….). Then, when you arrive at the bar you get a ticket and you wait until your number comes up on the screen. Problem solved.

Choice breed’s stupidity – I blame Starbucks

This morning I saw an intelligent person revert to what can only be described as mentally ‘challenged’. Seemingly, the overwhelming array of choices proved too much for the cranial capacity of this particular individual. They not only took an inordinately long time to make their choice but they then lost the ability to speak properly and the manual dexterity needed to hold their purse.

“I’ll have an extra hot skinny soya grande frap cappa latte chino with cream…….and a lobotomy”

Rub your stomach and tap your head

If you can’t do the above then please don’t try to walk and text at the same time. You clearly don’t have the coordination to do two things at once so just accept it. Step out of the way, send your text and then rejoin the walking population. Alternatively, go away and practice the stomach and head thing until you can do it….